These are the kids who call me Marmie! Am I blessed or what!!??

To my Baby and sweet Munchie!

This, our youngest child taught me so much about myself, for I too was "the baby" Thanks for that Kate and enjoy your day!!!
Happy Birthday!!! Katie Brinton Hammond

Sometimes you have to bend down

Sometimes looking into a person's face is not enough, you have to bend down. I always greet everyone in the nursing home, where I care for an elderly Alzheimer friend. Of course this is not our custom on the streets of Miami. But I feel everyone can use a "Hello!" there, employees and patients alike! It feels right and there is a strange camaraderie among staff, family and patients.

Most days I pass a gentleman sitting in his wheelchair, in the breezeway entrance. He's younger than most clients, suffering from the long term effects of diabetes. His legs pain him and the nursing home diet is very unappealing, so he doesn't eat as he should. I was once a nurse, I understand the changes, and the effects diabetes brings to every part of his body. But truthfully if anyone looks closely, they would notice too, for his face daily reflects how is is feeling.

I reach for his hand as I pass, and inquire about his health. I tell him I will continue to pray. He reminds me that it makes a difference. One day he sat quietly reading his Koran, this time I bent down below his eye level, noticing he was doing poorly. After some brief words he held my hand tightly as I rose. "Thanks for asking" But as I walked away he called, "Thanks for your love too!"

This is something I have learned...especially with kids and older people, get below their eye level, it empowers them to speak from their heart.

A very smart Opa!!

Not too smart...that's me!!!

Recently #3 daughter shared a conversation she had with her first born following their trip to Miami. She hesitated when she told me, fearing I would be offended. Much to her chagrin it went something like this:

Josiah: Mama, Opa is very smart but Marm is not too smart....
Patience: Hmmm....what makes you say that Josiah?(a little taken back, thank the LORD she didn't readily agree-like "Wow you hit the money! Buddy!!- We've been saying that for years about old Marm!!)
Josiah: Well, Opa knows everything! He knows all about taking care of the pool, he's knows everything about fishing, he knows how to do Leggos! He knows everything!
Patience: And Marm?
Josiah: She doesn't even know how to do Leggos!!

In my defense.... I took care of that pool for years! And when we play Leggos, I try to make him feel important by showing me his expertise (which as a braggy grandmother, I must add...is amazing for a 5 year old) And I used to be great at catching sunfish decades ago but I'll admit, I get seasick now on the flat seas. Last time I went out in Aruba, I threw up on some guy's arm! So...okay... maybe I'm not so hot at fishing!

Patience: Is there something Marm is good at?
Josiah: Hmm..(this is the cute part, he had to really think about it.) Well, she's nice to us and brings us snacks!

I laughed and laughed as Patience apologized profusely. In truth....it was a wonderful compliment. I'm happy Josiah's Opa is smart, I'm married to him! But being nice is something I deeply value in a world that cries for kindness. So thanks sweet boy...I love you very much Josiah!

Happy Birthday Beth!

Happy Birthday Beth!!!....I am really proud of you and all your hard work, hope you are relaxing today and enjoying your special day!! Hey! Who are those old guys you are with here??

A Strange Bedmate

Years ago we had a elderly couple who lived around the corner, Clayton and Irene. Just a lovely little couple who had married after their first spouses had died. They would take slow walks holding hands, circling the block. And if I was fortunate enough, I would catch them as they passed our home. We'd chat for a minute and they would continue on. This excercise was obviously for health reasons, the gentleman being the weaker of the two. I wrote my number on a small piece of paper one evening and told Irene to please call if she ever needed us.

One night the phone rang around 1am. "They've taken my husband to the hospital and I am very afraid to be alone." I dressed and went right over. She said they had assured her Clayton was okay but she asked if I could I stay the night with her. I agreed and relaxed on the guest room bed nearby. "Are you okay Irene?" I called to her in the darkness after we had both settled in. A tiny little voice said, "No....would you mind sleeping in here?"

Her tiny frame had learned to hug the edge of the bed, so her large husband could have more room to rest. I stretched out on his side of the bed, half wondering how I had actually landed there sleeping next to a woman I hardly knew. Before long I heard the purr of her sleeping...she never awoke as I slipped out and went home the next morning.

Clayton died shortly after that, I never saw Irene again but I pray she's enjoying life with her son and grandchildren somewhere. I've never been very good at keeping up with people. But you never know who you might end up sleeping with.

Where's the cow bell?!!

Years ago my oldest sister, June, had an old cow bell. Back in the forties, she used it to cheer my brother-in-law's football team on to victory, deafening the people all around her, I am sure. I often wondered about that old bell...sometimes I'd imagine it hanging from an old Gurnsey's neck as she chewed her cud. But most likely it was purchased as a noise-maker for sporting events.

I'm not sure where June kept it during the years to follow, but being the frugal person she was, she found other uses for the bell once Dave's football years were behind him. Every August, as her family prepared to go to camping at Stover, June unearthed it and packed it in her suitcase with other essentials. On those August days long ago, June's bell had two purposes:
(1) to call her old football player home from fishing for their mid afternoon dinner
(2) for campfire, when heated discussions needed cooling.

Campfire brings back wonderful memories. We'd sit in a big circle singing old songs (I've Been Working on the Roadroad & Tell Me Why) and hymns of faith. Stories were told that would have us laughing out of our chairs. When conversations ensued that drew a lot of controversy, it was then June would ring the bell, or someone would say "Where is the cow bell?!" Although it was partly a joke, years later I would think in our efforts to avoid controversy, maybe we had missed out. Sameness was celebrated more than individuality.

Lately I have been thinking about that old bell. As this election gets nastier, I am wishing it would all go away. My children passionately disagree over the election. While I really agree that a good exchange of differences can be exhilarating, lately it feels a lot more about other things than politics. It's just a place where everyone vents but hides their real issues about something totally unrelated. I am tired of it all, it's becoming nasty......so where is that old cow bell??

What should it be?

Ilove blogs but never knew exactly what kind of blog I wanted to have. Spill your guts, rant about people, Marmie(grandma) talk, obsure stories about foster care life, my spiritual journey, all the amazing old people I converse with??

Yes! I know what it will be...
(1) Anything I want to say!... no bologna..just from my heart, what I love, what makes me laugh and what makes me cry!.....oh but no swearing...at least on my part!!....others may ;-) if anyone ever comments but I don't want to be doing that in the nursing home someday, so I shouldn't be practicing it now!! Okay..my pet peeves will defintely be addressed....like not lifting the gates at toll booths at rush hour and people who give change with the coins on top of the paper money.....oh boy this will be a very exciting blog.
(2) I want to record things my grandchildren might want to know about my life someday. The older you get, you want to know about the past but you see how busy you were young...too busy for important things like listening. I was like that, now all those people are gone from my life. Being the youngest of four and having parents who had me at nearly 40, they are no longer around to answer my many questions. Maybe I should write before I can no longer tell...

This will be fun!!!

What an amazing world of technology!!

Truly this must be a place for undiscovered gifted writers, not people like me who just want to keep their life straight on their ottoman ...........I have no idea where this will take me, or what's inside this door, just pushing a button that says publish seems quite scary....hmmm .... who cares...go for it girlfriend!